The 2nd Annual Himalayan Banked Slalom Part 2: The Event

Generally at this point in the proceedings Andy and I lose control and Omar takes over. He's got way more experience when it comes to getting things done, Kashmiri style and excels on the organisational side of things. That's just as well because by the time we get to this point the fatigue from three days hard grafting has set in and we sit quietly as the competitors arrive. Registration is a breeze and by the end we have hit  over 20 sign ups; plenty of locals representing alongside folks from Australia, Czech Republic, Japan, Scotland and South Africa. We had people competing in all categories and late registration on the morning of the event bumped the numbers up closer to 30. Considering we were hosting the event almost two weeks late and the vast majority of the Westerners had peeled out of town, we were satisfied by the turnout. The Banked Slalom is more about giving the local snowboarders an event for them to compete in and call their own, so we were really stoked that over half of the total competitors were Kashmiri.

The crew at the starting mound. stoked! pic: Omar

As I mentioned in the last blog post, an ideal HBS would see a bit of snow on the course overnight and then bluebird the next day. We got one out of two. Overnight we got a couple of inches that made the course look pretty in the morning. Or so we would have seen if it hadn't been snowing and cloudy. We had to set the course and  laid out bamboo posts fro the flags and set the nets on the difficult corners. Mercifully the cloud was lifting and you could see from top to bottom. While the snow kept falling and falling we  continued to make ready and the competitors arrived. Due to the cold temperatures and abundance of snow we were unable to use the timing equipment as the batteries don't last long enough. Not to fear though we had the next best thing: a Swiss resident with a stopwatch!

Men's Champ 2015: Mudasir pic: Andy

As we had a shorter course and more time we decided to change the format to three runs per person.thier legs and work out the fastest line down the course. Even with our insistence that these runs should be taken slowly and used as a way to familiarise yourself with the turns; several people took it upon themselves to go hell for leather and we were patching up berms and resetting safety nets even during practice! As the day continued so did the snow fall which made for an experience akin to riding a powder covered rollercoaster. This meant for a much slower course however going by the enthusiasm of some riders it was probably a good thing for the injury count, which is still zero. A raucous atmosphere was present, with spectators and competitors cheering and hollering, as the first of the competitors dropped in.  The high spirits continued throughout the day, as did the snow!
The best two times combined would give us a winner. We even had time for practice runs to let everyone get





Everybody took three runs then we fuelled them with Kawha and lunch prepared by our hotel sponsor. The Pisten Bully did make a reappearance and was used to ferry people from finish to start. The level of riding was varied. We saw some people getting low, pushing through the berms and reading the course well. Others were not so experienced and had difficulty on the course. Overall most people made it down competently and those that were new to this type of competition always have next year to redeem themselves. Having only ever had the opportunity to ride this sort of course once before, in last year's HBS, it was great to see the local boys giving it their all. There have to be winners at these sorts of competitions and this year was no exception. We kept the results huddled under our snow soaked jackets and told everyone to come to the award ceremony.

The best uphill lift available, Pisten Bully Power! pic: Omar

Prize giving was hosted at the same hotel, which prepared our lunches, Khaleel Palace. We all rolled in there suitably late but it's Kashmiri time so we were still early. Beers appeared and we got in the mood for another strange award ceremony. Ferried into the room we were then made to wait, for an extra 20 minutes, for our guest of honour. Lots of pics were getting snapped and the whole thing reminded me of school prize giving from my younger days. All in all, it's actually a lot of fun as it's a very alien ceremony compared to what you'd imagine it to be. For example, you'd probably expect such a party to go late into the night, with some wildness familiar to ski town apres. Not in Kashmir. Here it's all about speeches and certificates. But hey "This my dear is Kashmir" so you just got to roll with the punches.

2nd in Mens open, Richard looking solid.  pic: Andy

The overall Open mens result went down to the wire.  A dead heat between local speedster Mudasir therefore took top honours. The open womens was light on entrants and saw a battle between Scotland and the Czech Republic. The Czech women was victorious and took home the trophy. The junior mens saw the second win by Mehraj Khan, unfortunately he moves into open mens category next season and the threepeat is out of reach. Watchout guys, this kid is fast.
and Australian import Richard required the third run to be counted. Mudasir had the best three runs on the day and
For those that are interested here are the results;


So that's a 2nd Annual Himalayan Banked Slalom in the bag. Proving we're here to stay and that this event should start getting a bit more recognition. While both years have thrown up varying challenges we've had such a fantastic support network that we always managed to overcome. To everyone that helped or competed in any capacity our great thanks. We hope to see you all again next year, snow permitting, we'll be back in the Banked Slalom gully!

That's a wrap for 2015, see you in 2016. pic: Andy

The 2nd Annual Himalayan Banked Slalom Part 1: The Build

Broken but proud is the best way to describe how you feel after the building of the 2nd Annual Himalayan Banked Slalom. I suppose the test of any good event is whether or not it makes past it's inaugural year. Well Andy and I came back to Gulmarg and had every intention of making that happen. However, mother nature had other ideas! When we wanted snow it didn't come, when we didn't need any more it wouldn't stop! As a man that loves the snow, I am aware I shouldn't complain about 'too much snow'. However, as an organiser of a snowboard event, which requires you to build a course, one would like to see snow up to the start of the build then a week of sunny digging, a little fresh the night before and then a bluebird event day. Wishful thinking! Before any of this 'too much snow' nonsense came along we still had the tough decision of where to build the course.

Kahla, Sandy and the sledge

Last year we identified and claimed first gully (Here on in and forever more known as Banked Slalom Gully.) on phase 1 as the prime location for our HBS. We had a decent base last year and got what we needed done. This year when we went up to scope the gully we were sitting far lower than the previous year. We knew we wouldn't be able to bank up the steepest part but we could push the start further up the mountain and still have the race up there. Unfortunately, the weather was not playing the game. The week we had to build was due to puke with the likely result of limited access to the course, resulting in all our hard work getting buried under fresh snow. A tough decision was made and we went to scope out some alternative locales.

the course is set, lets DIG

With the storm approaching and the location changing, we postponed the dates and figured out the new spot. Our options were limited to two areas on the smaller slopes of the golf course. Our first choice was shut down due to it's close proximity to the beginners slope. So we moved it onto the Harmukh lift, which is not being used this season. We stomped up there and took a few different lines before we had a good contender for this year. Now all we had to do was get our hands dirty and dig. So on a very snowy Monday morning we had everything in place to get started, all we had to do was get there.







Three of us went out; Andy, myself and Khala, one of our good local friends, who had the toughest job that day. While Andy and I broke trail for him, Khala dragged a Kashmiri sled through our chop with 20 poles and three shovels tied on board. The going was slow and tough. The snow was falling heavily and we were in a complete white out. Unable to determine the undulations of the snow, we were stumbling into snow banks, making the whole walk that much harder. Once up top we had to re-run our route and set up the poles for definition. We built a couple of rollers for speed and banked up the first turn. We ran the line and boot-packed back up each time. Once our legs were spent we called it a day. Safe in the knowledge we had the Pisten Bully, to do the hard pushing, in the morning.

We are still working at a grass roots level for the banked slalom, though we are getting support from the J&K Tourism department. One such way is the use of there Pisten Bully. This is a bit of a double edged sword; it's amazing to have the ability to move around so much snow, so easily, but there is a significant language barrier between ourselves and the driver. On top of which they haven't had much opportunity to use their machines beyond a piste-ing capacity. So when you're trying to describe to them and then direct them, a lot can get lost in translation and be open to interpretation. We didn't face this problem immediately, this year, as when we went to get the cat it had broken down.

Kahla takes a break from the dig.

After hanging out for a couple of hours, waiting to see what was going to happen, we were told someone was coming to fix it and they would come over in the afternoon. We took this as a sign we had better get digging just in case they couldn't get it running. The three of us headed back to the course, Khala had decided that floundering around in the snow with us two, was more fun than his normal daily grind. We had one corner that we knew had to be hand dug, as there was no way we could get a cat into the area, so we took it back to last year and dug our first berm. It was warm that day and we grafted getting that first berm dug. We also started to think of the immense task at hand of physically digging the rest of the course.

As we had been promised a cat we may have left it a bit tight to achieve the impossible and build all the other turns in just 2 days. But we are stubborn and thick skinned so could deal with the aches and pains, which we would have to endure, to get the course finished. Thankfully, we got the call that the cat was on the way and we should organise lunch. One challenge after another for us. After it arrived and we had fed the drivers, we could get down to business. We pushed up our start ramp with no issues. On to the first berm. This is where things started to get tricky. With a couple of radios and some hand signals we sort of managed to get the snow in the right place. The next berm was at the point of awesomeness right until the driver went half a metre too far and collapsed the thing. Four more piles of snow later and we had to ask them to stop. We needed to shape these berms so that we could figure out where we would build the final turns.

The Pisten Bully arrives and we get serious

The end of a good day shapeing...

Our figuring was that as we only got a couple of hours with the Pisten Bully, rather than the full day we were promised, a couple of hours the next day wouldn't be an issue. The following day, we three, got up early and went about shaping the hunks of snow left by yesterdays machine massacre. Khala, who doesn't snowboard, was very deft in his ability to wield a shovel and took to the task with ease. We shaped a few and then started running the lines to iron out any bumps. A good solid morning of work and we had been informed that our cat would be back after lunch. We continued to shape the last couple of berms and we had a super fun and interesting first 6 turns, which we built a small jump on the end and into the next section. We gave up waiting for the cat and decided that with the challenging weather, snow pack and relocation we had to run a much shorter course than the previous year.





Next up was registration and the main event but that will follow shortly........

The one and only HIMALAYAN BANKED SLALOM; Desert!

An Instagram from www.pirate-movie-production.com perhaps Gulmarg will show up in their next Film!

 So here we were on day one, the qualifiers. A little icing on the cake was some overnight snow, which put 30cm of fresh over everything. Unfortunately the cloud was with us and the soupy visibility was going to make things a little tricky. We got up early to set the gates, put up safety fences, check timing equipment and generally just make sure all was good to go, before we let everyone out to devour the goodies. A few last minute additional competitors, in the form of the Nitro snowboard crew was a little bonus, Elias Elhardt, Marc Swoboda and Knut Eliasson had, with great timing, rolled into Gulmarg on the day before. We were already stoked with our registration numbers now we had some professionals competing  and Pirate crew filming as they competed! It really was a buzz to be a big part of this event. However, the visibility was not getting any better and the start was delayed while we waited for a weather window.

Local shredders waiting for their shot at the course

Course marshalling sucks in zero visibility! So does riding a course in crappy viz you have only seen once. Being totally powerless to do anything about the weather the qualifiers had to go ahead. The time was ebbing away and everything was postponed till after lunch. Standing around and getting cold before a competition is not a great idea. The juniors and the ladies had all had one run and a few men too. The idea was to give everyone two goes and then qualify the fastest times. This plan was waylaid for a much fairer decision of everyone qualifies and we’ll keep our fingers crossed for better weather on Sunday. Needless to say, the fastest time of the qualifiers was set by Elias Elhardt. However, a good show was put in by all and the general consensus was a job well done.

Day two: BLUEBIRD(-ish). A wee test run for me, just to make sure nobody had spoiled the course in yesterday’s white-out. Not one to hold back and my first real run at the course, which I’d poured a week of my life into, I didn’t really hold back. That’s possibly why Andy got a radio call, from me, shortly after asking him to advise all riders the course was a damn site faster than yesterday and that we had to reset the safety fence on the ‘Super-Pooper’! Nothing to do with the fact I came in too fast and lost it, wrapping myself in the orange webbing, which left me floundering like a net-caught fish. I was just thankful the first time I ever put up a safety net, it actually worked well enough to hold me. With the gates set, safety fences back in place and the timing equipment ready for a test, I got the honour of a second run, just to make sure the timing equipment was working, mind. Absolutely nothing to do with redemption and the need to see how I’d place if I was competing.

The finish line and a bunch of rowdy competitors

Run complete with no bails this time, we could let the competitors at it. I hung out down at the finish line, as I wanted the best view of the hardest part of the course. First the juniors went and it was clear the turns were a bit like trying to tackle a 28oz steak: a gargantuan effort. Massive props have to go out to these kids and all the Kashmiris that have learned to snowboard. Seeing how they’ve never been allowed to ride the beginner lifts and genuinely have to hike for all those early learning runs, it’s an absolute miracle any of them have bothered. So to see them participating in their first ever banked slalom was a privilege. Hopefully, we’ll be involved in making a few changes next year that can further their skills. But I digress from the meaty finals.

The format was changed slightly due to yesterday’s bad weather and the fact we still had 40+ competitors racing. Therefore, an executive call was made so that it was one run for everyone; fastest run wins. Miss a gate and get disqualified, you better show up next year because there were no second chances. (That luxury was only afforded to me!) Ladies next and they sure as hell went hard. The course was quick and so were they. Some of them hadn’t even managed a practice run the day before! The camaraderie at the finish line was awesome. Every time someone came into view there was a whoop and holler like it was their surprise party. All that was missing was cake and bubbly. A real celebration of the sport was happening right here in the Himalaya.

Last but not least the open men’s final was upon us. Everyone was amped and the day was turning out to be epic. The men certainly gave it their all. Some surprise DQs and some impressive times. The immense task of building and helping organize the event was paying off. It was a tasty wee number that everyone enjoyed. The men’s title was scooped by a Russian, so even out of Sochi they were still at the forefront of snowboard firsts! Of all the riders I watched come through the ‘Super-Pooper’ he had the best line, which was evident in his time. Faster even than the pros from the day before! Race over; it was time for a beer and a bit of prize giving. Being Kashmir, where they love a good award ceremony, the ceremony was more silver service, fine dining than the truck stop hoe-down we had envisaged. But hey that’s the way the cookie crumbles. (I promise I only have one more cheesy food/cooking reference to go!)

The hardest corner of the whole course. This is where the winners were decided

Never the less, we didn’t hurt anyone, the competition ran smoothly and everyone had a good time. We successfully held the first ever Himalayan Banked Slalom. BOOM! With the Jammu and Kashmir Tourism department rather happy with all our efforts and a smattering of international press coverage; it’s all systems go for 2015. Stay tuned for a bigger, more exciting and, we’d like it to be, a snowboard company sponsored event, next winter. Guess that means it’s out of the frying pan and into the fire for us!

(I whole heartedly apologise for all the crappy food jokes in these past blogs. I thought it would be a good thing; write a recipe on how to cook up a blah, blah, blah. But it turned out to be a cringey joke fest interspersed with a story of the event. I learnt my lesson. Thanks for reading though x)

                                                                                                                                                       

We would like to thank all those that helped us turn this crazy idea into an awesome reality. Especially these two men; 
Omar Hajam, for his untiring pursuit of the people in positions of power in Gulmarg. His efforts really made this happen.
Tariq Bhat, thanks for helping fine tune the logistical side of things and helping get some sponsorship.
also
The Meadows Hotel in Gulmarg, this great new hotel came onboard with sponsorship and helped us get gates printed and donated the lunches for all competitors.

THE one and only HIMALAYAN BANKED SLALOM; The Main Course

Seems that writing a blog about building and hosting a Himalayan Banked Slalom takes longer than actually putting the event on! I was busy cooking up the perfect recipe for said event and was just about to jump into the meat of the dish. I reckon I’ve let the whole thing to cure for long enough now and should get back to it. Day one of the big dig was a sunny affair and Andy and I headed into our lovely roped off area to start work on turn one. We had a rough plan of where the course was going to go and there was nothing to it but to start digging. Having absolutely nae idea of how to dig a berm the first one took some time. We excavated way more snow than we needed to but the final result definitely looked like what we were trying to do. Part way through I started to calculate the time it was going to take to build the rest and by god it was going to be tight to get it all done in 5 days! Ever determined we moved onto the next one.

the start of first Gully and the start of the HBS course.

This was the south facing side of the course and the snow was part frozen blocks, part slushy mess. Not the ideal building conditions but we persevered, trying a different tact with the construction of this one. Like a good cook will experiment with different levels of flavour to enhance depth in a dish, we slapped snow here and there, scratched our heads and mused at our work. The second berm finished we were both feeling the burn from man handling the snow. But we had worked out it was much easier to try and shape the berm out of the bank, rather than digging a big pile of snow and shaping that. Ah the ‘eureka’ moment, which we hoped would make the whole process a bit easier. Totally beat after the mornings work, to our relief our great friend, Tariq, brought us lunch and more importantly a fresh pair of arms.

After our food we set back to it. Turn 3 was a great sweeper that dropped steeply away and I called it ‘YEE-HA’, due to the hollering it could potentially induce. Our slow-cooked first berm techniques were being honed into a more efficient methodology, not quite fast food standards but then who’d want to race something so uniform? We knew this year was going to be a bit rough and ready, possibly hard to digest in places, yet this didn’t dampen our spirits. We chapped on and got 3 all done. Back into the sunshine for turn 4 and our day was done. Tired and chuffed we’d got something resembling the beginnings of a banked slalom course. In absolutely no illusion did we think that it was going to get easier but we sure as hell enjoyed the first day’s celebratory beer.

Turn 7 at the end of day 2.

Day two brought more of the same; digging and shaping turns 5, 6 and 7. Our between the tree hole-shot of turn five is the perfect banner sponsorship spot and an epic one for pics. A sunny souther, turn six was a calm one before turn 7. Andy loved turn seven due to its natural high wall up-down cruisiness. I loved turn 7 because we hardly had to do anything to it to make it work! Again we could see the course coming along nicely and were constantly allowing ourselves little smiles of satisfaction. However, we knew the first half of the course was the easy part and we were now into the hardest section of the build. We’d cooked up a fine starter with plenty to get people’s attention. Problem was we had only a few days left and a really steep and somewhat dangerous section to try and turn into something palatable. The support we thought was coming didn’t and Andy had to give a talk that night promoting the event to everyone in town.

The next day was a struggle. The constant digging of two days and the ever increasing reality of what was left to do was fraying at my nerves. Andy, the ever outwardly calm one, was pleasant to me as I bitched and moaned and stressed. We had a really complicated section to prepare and the thought of it just being built with our four arms was daunting. We decided to shape up the top half of the course and make it good to go and allow us to rest. Even though we’d roped off the area we’d had a few people duck it and ride through. So on turn 4 when we saw some bodies come over the ridge we thought god-damn-balls-shit don’t ride over our berms! Then a few more heads appeared and we started to recognize some friendly faces. These weren’t yahoos trying to get some pow-pow, this was help! They say too many cooks spoil the broth; but when you apply that to digging huge quantities of snow, it’s the opposite. Turn 8 became an international affair. I think we had 9 different nationalities help build that corner and we’re truly indebted to them for coming to our aid.

Shaping turn 4 after HELP arrived, thanks to all who lent some muscle.

What had started out as a bleak undertaking became a fun venture with many hands and experience getting the linchpin turn in. With over ten people digging and shaping, it still took the best part of the day to get it finished. Had Andy and I been left alone that day, it’s doubtful to say just how that corner would’ve come out. Burnt, crispy and inedible is one way! So two days left and one more complex turn then it is bish-bash-bosh and the course should be finished. Turn 8 was going to be burly. Like sitting down to a giant ice cream and fighting through the cold pain headache to finish it in one go. Thankful for the help the day before we knew that this corner was probably best left to just the two of us.

 

The complications of trying to balance the following issues; not hurting anyone, making the turn suitable for most skill levels and still super fun, were massive. And we also have to factor in the near vertical section we’re trying to build it on. An hour or so of watching the snow roll down the hill we decided that starting at the bottom was probably a better idea! We managed to get it connected and round the tree in a way that was a little less than sketchy. I mentioned to Andy that most people are going to shit themselves, coming through this one and a little while later the ‘Super-Pooper’ was named. Some more friends came down that afternoon and helped us sure up the turn and make it a little safer. This one was definitely getting a safety fence. One more day of digging left and we had a few more corners to go. We finally had the use of the pisten bully to build the start ramp and help conclude course construction.

Friday was a big day. We had to finish the course and hold registration. Let’s call it desert and menu setting. But we have a big machine to help so hey it should be easy. Hmmmmm……how to put it? The cat certainly can move snow. Lots of it, in vast quantities, which sets like stone and becomes a really doozy to shape with our little shovels! Knowing that time was no longer on our side we had to cut the course a few turns shorter than we’d hoped. On the one hand we had no choice. On the other, if the competition is a success, we already know we can make it longer in 2015! So having not even run the course from top to bottom, we were off to register all the crazy people that wanted to be a part of the first ever Himalayan Banked Slalom. Again, thanks to the support and help of some more wonderful people, while Andy and I had been building the registration was all set up and we just had to show our faces and help out if required.

It’s a little daunting, having put so much time and effort into the preparation that perhaps, just perhaps nobody will give a monkeys and even bother to register. There was no need to doubt as we knew we’d at least have some locals enter the competition. It was the main reason behind this whole event. Give the local snowboarders a competition all of their own. No more racing a skier set course on a snowboard. A real opportunity to show the big wigs of Gulmarg that snowboarding is as big a sport as skiing. So when we closed registration and had 45 competitors, with almost 50% of them Kashmiris, we knew all the hard work was worth it. All we had to do now was host the event. So proof of the pudding is always in the eating and that’s what we had to do now. But I think I’ll leave you to stew a little longer for that one (definitely not as long as last time, I promise).

THE one and only HIMALAYAN BANKED SLALOM; First piece of the pie........

I’m going to attempt to give you the recipe for a Himalayan Banked Slalom. It’s an out-there dish, not suited to everyone’s taste. It’s got spice, is definitely fruity and, in reality, involves a smorgasbord of ingredients to bring it all together.

The pot that cooked up the Banked Slalom

Before a dish of this stature can come into fruition, someone needs to dream it up. However
a banked slalom snowboard competitions aren’t exactly nouveau cuisine! They were the bread and butter of early competitive snowboarding, with its roots right back at the beginning of our sport. This being said, it still took the imagination and determination of one man to bring it to the Himalaya. The Di5 founder, fearless leader and executive chef, Andy, spent two years cooking up this project; countless trips to Srinagar, whetting the appetite of officials, whom before his intervention, had been brought up on a bland diet of skiing. Andy cruised in there with a proposal of something fresh, fun and flavourful. Luckily for everyone, they were in the mood to try something different, support was offered and in 2014 the Himalayan Banked Slalom was going to happen. This was essentially the golden egg that had to be cracked before baking could begin!

Now that all the dreaming, planning and officious work was behind, a recipe had to be concocted, which would result in all that hard work, turning into a tasty celebration of the sport of snowboarding, in Kashmir. This being said, while Andy has many years snowboarding experience, competing at an international level, giving him an understanding of what sort of things go into this type of dish. However, his sous-chef, namely I, had never ridden a banked slalom course, let alone built a berm! What I did bring to our kitchen, was a belief in the dish we were creating, a sprinkling of snowboarding experience and a good dose of Scottish opinion, which chef could take or leave but was there none-the-less. I suppose that covers step one of the recipe, which was obtaining the relevant permissions.

Step two seemed quite straight forward: get the necessary equipment to rope off the course,
so we could stay safe while we created our masterpiece. All it took was one jeep, Andy, myself and Sarpanch (our interpreter/big man!) and a day trip to Srinagar. We ventured to the local bamboo/rope emporium and engaged in some strong-hand tactics to get the best prices. This essentially involved me and the owner squeezing each other’s hands until somebody yields. Let’s just say I secured us a discount! So off we went with our ingredients, 50 bamboo poles and 5kg of rope. (How long is 5kg of rope? Your guess is as good as mine!) Next stop was the trophy shop, which also sold musical instruments and board games, amongst other things. Lastly, we went and bought some beer. Neither of us was under the impression that the week to come was going to be an easy one, we sure as hell were going to need a beer!

just what we needed, lots of bamboo.

Sarpanch leads the way

Sandy might have won the hand strength competition but I think the old guy gave him a run for his money!

Returning to Gulmarg with our supplies, all we needed to do was get it up the gondola, which surely shouldn’t be an issue as we had the necessary support from ski patrol. Well, first off, there was an abortive attempt to raise ski-patrol on the radio, so I went to seek help from someone higher up. He sent me off up the lift, without the poles and rope, to get written permission from the head of ski patrol, although I had it on good authority he had already informed them we were coming. So off I set, aware that all good recipes take some tweaking. When I arrived, the necessary permissions were sent to the original guy, who told me his radio didn’t work! It quickly became apparent that this dish was definitely going to have some Kashmiri spice! Back down again, I loaded all the gear, then with the help of Tariq, carried it all out to the ski patrol hut.

The Gully on the left is First Gully, it held the first Himalayan Banked Slalom. click to enlarge^^^

So with everything in place, on Monday morning, we could get into the meat of the dish; the digging! Or so we thought. Turned out there would be some more lugging of poles and setting up of ropes before we could get hands on shovels. The next few steps of this delectable treat will reveal some of the secret ingredients. However, like any good cook, I’m going to leave you to prove like dough, before I knead your imaginations with the rest of this recipe!